Boys seek girls for...companionship(!?)

Apparently, loneliness can drive boys to seek companionship with girls, as well as with the robotic reptiles mentioned in my earlier post. An article reporting on work of psychology researchers at SUNY Oswego asks if the stereotype of teenage boys, driven by testosterone to the single-minded pursuit of sex, may be "telling us less about teenage males and more about a culture that seems to have consistently low expectations of its boys?" The researchers collected data from 105 10th-grade boys (average age 16). When asked to note their reasons for pursuing a relationship (with girls -- most of the boys self-identified as heterosexual) the top answer (marked by 80%) was "I really liked the person." The next-most-popular answers (tied) were physical attraction and getting to know someone better.
Perhaps needless to say, some people are dubious, particularly "former teenage boys."

Such skepticism about boys in their teens isn’t surprising, say researchers, but it reveals more about what’s going on in the minds of adults, than of teenagers.

“Grown men often deny how dependent they are on women,” said Michael G. Thompson, a psychologist specializing in children and families and co-author of the book “Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys.” “The idea that you could pine for a girl, and be devastated by a girl makes an adult man uncomfortable. It reminds them of how profoundly attached they get to women.”

None of this is to say that teen boys aren’t interested in sex. Of course they are. But adolescence can often be a lonely time, and for many boys, girls represent needed companionship, Dr. Thompson said.

“Many boys are yearning to talk to somebody, but they can’t talk to their boy friends because it’s all teasing and a lot of competitiveness,” he said. “For many boys who have been a little bit lonely in the boy group, finally meeting a girl and talking to her is a huge relief.”

But the widespread skepticism about teenage boys is worrisome, some psychologists say, because it may mean that boys ultimately will fulfill our low expectations of them.